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Controlling Responses January 11, 2011

Posted by izzyholt in Self Help.
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So often there are people who go through life without really understanding why they lash out to others and can’t seem to control their responses..   They think somehow, their actions are legitimate based upon what they feel, not whether it is right or wrong. They are angry with themselves and take it out on everybody else.   They do not care how their actions are perceived by others, nor if they are liked by others.  They are simply out of tune to real life; even their own.  They sometimes have a tendency to blame their behaviors on other people’s problems; it is never their own.  They do not have problems; they simply tell it like it is and say what is right (right for them, not others), when they want and regardless of whom they are speaking with.

 These people are in need of self-control and the ability to understand themself and their actions.  They inability to control how they respond to others; indicates they have problems within themselves. They do not understand who they are or why they behave as they do, obviously.  Why?  Most of us know that the words we speak define who we are.  They tell more about us sometimes than our actions; even though actions speak louder than words, they say.  If we speak harsh, disrespectful words to others; we will be judged as being without self-control, inconsiderate, spiteful, a lunatic and without respect for other humans.  It is relevant to say; that is exactly the truth.  There is a time to speak your mind and there is a time to bite your tongue and when one is dealing with any other soul; it is a time to bite the tongue regardless of the situation.

Problems can’t be resolved with angry statements or responses.  No battles are won by being out of control and responding with inappropriate language.  It is not becoming to anyone.  It is not acceptable behavior.  When we learn to control our responses; it means we have become aware that our words can heal or kill.  Kind words never die, but harsh words live forever.  If we think about it; we can probably all think of something that has been said to us in the past that cut to the bone.  A child for instance can be told that they are stupid because they broke something that was important to someone.  They can be told they are not responsible and will never be because they can’t clean their room.  These words should be deleted from the parent’s vocabulary.   The one who is irresponsible is the one who is dishing out uncontrolled responses. 

When a person can’t control their responses to other people and lash out with ugly words and anger then, it is time to take a look at why.  It is usually not the other individual, especially if it happens frequently.  Usually it is from within and when it is from within, it is time to try to understand ourself better and start our personal growth project.  If that doesn’t work; then it might be time for professional help. 

**Note:  This is not considered the voice of a professional.  This is considered self-help.  These words are written to help those who want to help themselves in becoming more aware of how they respond to others.

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